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Archive for February, 2015

Thursday, February 26th, 2015
ne’er do wells and woebegones

Boy is now on a high powered antibiotic, plus tetracycline. He can have no dairy and no alcohol–not even hand sanitizer. The one cost nearly $500. I hope to hell it works. Plus we got more Medical Marijuana. Trying to figure out a mixture that works. The pain has been beyond awful. It’s so hard to see and not be able to help.

I cut my finger with a knife today and it refused to stop bleeding. Now it hurts.

People are extraordinarily kind. Strangers and friends have offered wonderful help and comfort. My heart is terribly bruised with all that’s happening with the boy and I can’t tell you how grateful I am for the kindnesses people have granted me.

I found that one of the raspberries we planted last year and that promptly died has chosen to resurrect. Planted peas and broccoli and early carrots yesterday. Need to get in some lettuce. First I need lettuce seeds. Also planted rose cuttings hope they take.

I kind of want to go around taking cuttings of plants to get started in my garden. I’m not sure people would be very happy with me. Some azaleas up the street are blooming. Lovely. Meanwhile we’re cutting ours out. They are up against the house and very sad. They need to come out. I need to amend the soil and then plant smaller things there.


Sunday, February 22nd, 2015

Oddly, the whole life is about composting. Throw in all the leavings and scrapings and bits and leftovers, and let it molder and turn it into good things that grow other things. That’s my writing process, that my life in general.

The medical marijuana seems to be helping the boy get to a level of tolerable pain. I hope he goes to school this week.

The batteries (two) on our truck died. We charged, and they are running, but we have to get new ones because they are ten years old and this isn’t their first death.

Went to Costco today. Bought boy of size his first electric razor. He’s not enthusiastic about using it. He needs it, however. The fuzzy caterpillar under his nose is one thing, but he’s starting to get weird beard hairs that stick out oddly. Also bought bulbs, which I hope to get in the ground this week.

Also went to a local nursery and bought a bunch of soil amender (compost really) for the garden beds. Plan to get that all rototilled in this week so we can plant some peas, broccoli, lettuce, carrots, and so on.  Sadly, they did not have a monkey puzzle tree, but I put my name down for them to call when they come in. I have a deep love of them.

Had my second sweater knitting class. Now working on the back of the sweater. I’m a little terrified. But jumping in with both feet.

Also been writing. And copy editing. I just hope the boy makes it to school this week. We dragged him out with us this morning even though he was hurting and didn’t want to go. I gave him some MM and just dragged him. I wanted him to see that he can do things despite how he feels and that once the MM kicks in, he’s a lot better off. Hurts my heart to make him do it though. I feel like I’m torturing him.




Thursday, February 19th, 2015
The week flies by

It’s already Thursday night and I look around and don’t know what I’ve done. Lots of kid stuff. Go figure. I did do some writing, and I’ve worked some on my writing. Made some good progress, I think, but not enough. The weather has been absolutely lovely. Warmer than normal. That, I’m sure, is galling for those of you in very cold, very icy, very snowy places. Stay warm and stay safe. I’ve lived in the midwest and the Rockies, and yeah, done cold and icy and snowy and I don’t envy you one bit.

Our patio is mostly in. There’s some small things yet to be done, but apparently that’s going to take another week or so to get the people in. In the meantime, though, there’s a cover for the dogs to keep them out of the rain.

One good thing about drones: the awesome pictures that can be taken, like Niagra Falls from right above and out in front.

Just heard about the superbug that’s going around in LA. Scary shit. The picture of it they show in the news looks like fuzzy pink tic tacs. What’s really scary is that the instrument that they didn’t clean well enough is one that could have been used on my son. Freaks me the hell out.

I want to go on a hike. I’m out of shape and don’t know where I’d go and I the boy is sick, but I’d like to go.

Sunday, February 15th, 2015
Bright, bright, bright, sunshiny day

It was a gorgeous day today. About 65 and brilliantly sunny. Crocuses and primroses are blooming in the yard. We took the dogs walking out in a big park downtown. 90 acres, lots of trees. It was delightful. I also met with my knitting teacher to figure out how I’d screwed up my knitting, which was worse than I thought, but we mostly fixed everything. Next time we move on to the next steps.

The boy did acupuncture for the first time yesterday. It may be helping. It’s too soon to tell. I am hoping. I got him to exercise twice today, and that’s a big plus.

I’ve been getting some writing done, along with some reading. That’s all good.

Here’s a little snippet with of the WIP:

He held his hand out. She made herself take it, gripping firmly through her gloves. She didn’t like touching mages. She pulled away, shoving her hands into her coat pockets and curling them into fists.

“Hagen tells me you can read the room,” he said.

Cady’s lips tightened. She forced a smile. “Hagen says a lot of things. Some are even true.”

“Can you read the room?” he demanded.


“Cady,” Hagen chided, his hand on her shoulder tightening.

Blaze flicked him an irritated glance, which won him a point in her book. The enemy of my enemy . . . Not that the bald giant was her enemy. He’d done everything in his power to protect her since she’d left fieldwork.

That earned an inward grimace. Left it. Like she’d had a choice. Yet here she was, about to go back out where all the boogeymen waited, including Blaze Watkins. Hopefully he didn’t plan to put a knife in her back. Hagen insisted the she could trust the mage, had shown her all the files on him. Or at least the files Hagen wanted her to see. She had no doubt there were more hidden somewhere.

Blaze Watkins had had a stand-up career with the PCIA, and then had gone private after he’d disobeyed orders he didn’t like. Most of that episode had been redacted, but Hagen claimed the mage had had good reasons. Which, coming from the head of the PCIA, could be viewed as a positive endorsement. But then again, only some of the things Hagen said were true. She usually found out which when she was hipdeep in a shit creek with crocodiles chewing her ass.

“You aren’t sure?” Blaze asked.

“I never am until I am,” she said. She bent down to pick up her pack and slung it over her shoulder, dislodging Hagen’s hand in the process. “We’re burning daylight.”

Thursday, February 12th, 2015
a week that’s shot

Pretty much this week has been one where precious little gets done. First, my phone is wonky. It shuts itself off and refuses to charge. It won’t take pictures, but won’t tell me why. It freezes and gives me a black death screen. I don’t have any extra apps on it. I use it mainly for pictures, phoning, texting, and email.

My son has had an awful week. These fucking ulcers should be getting better, but his pain and nausea only seem to increase daily. The doctor isn’t offering much help at this point and I am not sure where to turn next. His insurance (which is new this year) doesn’t like the new drug because it’s expensive and want to know if we’ve tried other drugs, so it’s taking forever to actually get any of the new drug. The doc gave samples, but tomorrow we run out and the doc has no more. The primary care doc has approved a medical marijuana card, but apparently my son needs a state approved id and his passport is expired. So we have to go get the id tomorrow.

Because he’s suffering, I’ve been spending more time with him to help keep his anxiety (read panic) down to a manageable level. Been working with him on breathing, on mindful meditation. I did get him to agree to accupuncture, so have to see when I can get in. He’s constantly asking if there’s anything else we can do to help him. I’m really coming to a breaking point and trying not to.

I have done some writing, but precious little words are accumulating and I’m trying not to panic or freak out about how much worse the boy seems to be getting when he’s supposed to be getting better and no one seems to know why and the gastroenterologist isn’t in a hurry to figure it out. She’s sure it will get better. I’ve lost faith that she’s right. I don’t know where to take him next, except maybe the Mayo. All I know is that something is wrong and they need to find it and they need to look harder.

The patio finally got poured today. It looks lovely. So at least there’s that.


Sunday, February 8th, 2015

I am taking a class on making a sweater. I’ve only been knitting not quite two months. Was feeling pretty good about how well I was getting along, and then the class started. Oh boy. This cable thing is hard. And I’ve committed to a lot of it. And I committed to hard ones. because, idiot much?

I’ve made agonizingly slow progress and my teacher has fixed a whole buttload of my mistakes. She showed me how to fix, but that doesn’t mean I can do the same. So freaking out a little. All the same, going to keep plugging away. Because pain is my friend.

Other than that, I have been attempting to gain control of my house and my life. With little success I might add. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Nope, not a chance. I’ll be writing. And orthodontisting with the girlie. Hopefully the boy will be at school.

And now, to possibly vegetate or knit. Oh, and my yarn ball turned into a tangle. Apparently I really need to winde it before I start, even though it looked like a center pull ball. I may never buy Cascade yarn again after this. So frustrating. Anyhow, I got it wound after much annoying time. Cause I needed to be annoyed more.



Thursday, February 5th, 2015
Piles of piles of crap

The boy was sick today. Stayed home. Is there an echo in here? Feels like I say that All the Time. It’s old. So fucking old. And then I nearly got in two accidents today, because, well, let’s call a spade a spade. I was driving while awake, but apparently without a clue. I don’t know what happened, but I decided that I don’t want to drive anymore today, and oh, by the way, I could use a stiff drink. My stomach is in knots though, and refuses any drinks, because when I stress, drinking is impossible. In fact, when I’m truly stressed, eating is fairly impossible, so not even potato chips or chocolate cannot save the day.

I did some knitting while sitting with the boy to help him calm down. He freaks out when it gets bad like today. I don’t blame him. I offer what comfort I can. Anyhow, he was in a lot of pain. At least the knitting right now is soothing, rather than hugely frustrating. That may change, however, as I start a sweater class on Saturday this is going to teach me things I do not know, and things that may make me want to go throw myself at the ground as hard as I can.