I’ve lots to say and some of it may be coherent. I am going to talk on so many topics. I’m feeling like I’m going to hit you with all sorts of the non sequitur sorts of thoughts. Like shaking out my brain and letting stuff fall over the blog in whatever order it comes out. Some of it not safe for… Well, I think my featured image is the last word on that. Which I find fucking hilarious, but the way. My dogs do that butthole thing.
Speaking of buttholes, I went to this little market last week. It’s called the Market of the Strange and mostly it has stuff that I love. Fantasy, anime, manga, SF, crafty things, and so on. Reminds me of the Dealers Room at a convention. We wander through (me, my daughter, my son, and his fiance) and in the back is the area demarcated as potentially having adult items. We wander back there and there’s some nudity in some art, and some penis perfume bottles and that sort of thing. We reach this one table with blown glass. It’s got some jewelry and paperweights and a whole bunch of very cool glass pipes and bongs. The last ones were quirky and fun. They also had two butt plugs. Big ones. Well, if you asked me, but I’m not an expert. At all.
Now my first inclination was to explain what they were to my daughter. I didn’t. She never likes to know this stuff. I mean, I told her about it later because I can only bite my tongue so long. She’s 19, btw, and she lives with me so she should not be shocked by anything that comes out of my mouth, except maybe me saying “I don’t want chocolate,” or “I love to eat fish.” I bought a couple of pendants and moved on to the next booth, which was Bondage and dom sorts of stuff. So leather covered handcuffs, soft and hard flails and other whips, paddles, and so on. I wasn’t allowed to stay long. Daughter was moving fast and dragging me with her. But I did happen to notice a pony tail. It had a giant wooden nob on it to keep it in the person’s butt. By giant, I believe it was the size of a baseball but slightly oval.
Walking away from these booths, I had questions. First: does anybody really buy these sorts of toys at an open market like this? I can kinda see the handcuffs and stuff, but the pony tail? And the butt plugs? I also had to wonder how one cleans the wooden nob and the dowel it was attached to. Can that even be made sanitary? And I was reminded of a colleague in Montana who discussed loudly at a party her glass dildos that she washed in the dishwasher and made crochet cozies for. And yes, I plan to use that in a story soon. Very soon. Keep reading Everyday Disasters.
My daughter has been diagnosed with autism and probably as ADHD. This explains a lot and we’re looking to get her into counseling and working to better help her navigate life and have her teach us more about herself. My therapist calls it neurospicy. This is one of my favorite terms ever. Daughter also had her first job interview ever, and that was exciting. Keep your fingers crossed that she hears positive news soon.
Been painting horses some and selling a few. Thinking of maybe taking some to Orycon, but they aren’t going to have a traditional Art Show, so not sure. Also, did anybody else notice it’s fucking hot? I get hot flashes and they unhappily coincide with hot weather. Do. Not. Like. I’m a heat wimp. Once upon a time I spent more time in hot weather and was better at it, but not anymore.
I read Am I the Asshole on Reddit. I find myself unfortunately entertained all too often. Like when I read today about a guy who forced his wife into an open marriage (threatened to leave her and their child and their marriage and go have flings so she agreed in the hopes of saving her marriage) and while he managed to find dates, couldn’t get laid (the whole purpose was to get laid because neither husband nor wife had ever experienced other people since they were each other’s firsts). He also kept talking about dating, wanting to date, wanting screw other women, and she kept telling him she didn’t want to hear it, but he would not shut up. She didn’t date, and then finally a friend or her sister, I forget, suggested she should, she also went on Tinder and got a date.
She and the guy hit it off and they went out a couple more times and then slept together. And he was good in bed, giving her four orgasm in one night. She thought she didn’t really orgasm much because she didn’t with her husband, and she was excited to see the guy again. She gets home and her husband asks if she slept with someone and when she says yes, he flips his gourd and says that because he hadn’t slept with someone else, she was cheating, and then he got pouty and tantrumy. I was totally delighted with the situation because he was a total prick and expected her to just put up with him fucking other women and she wouldn’t do any other men, only to find that women don’t want him and she had GREAT sex with another guy. This also will go into a book.
I think that Am I the Asshole is great research for coming up character situations. Just saying.
I got two new tattoos. They aren’t done healing yet, but I’ll get pictures soon. One is a Jackrabbit with blackberries, the other is words that say: To Strive, to Seek, To Find, and Not to Yield (It’s the last line from “Ulysses,” a poem by Tennyson). I actually wanted a lot more, but yanno, didn’t fit, so I’ll share:
There’s more to shake out of my head, but time for me to attack my current book again. I have no plot and I’m just making shit up. Hopefully it will be good shit.
Putting the Chic in Psychic releases this week! And Putting the Ice in Nice comes in September! I can’t wait to hear what you think! Unless you hate them, in which case, I can wait.
I need popcorn. I’m in a serious popcorn mood. As are the dogs. They love when I make popcorn. I share.