in way over my head anxiety dream

I had a dream last night that demonstrated to me that while I’ve been doing a hell of a job postponing my oh-shit-I’m-in-serious-trouble moments, my unconscious has decided to let me know that indeed, the shit heading for the fan has not gone unnoticed.

So apparently I was in a hotel with my husband and kids. At some point I needed to do laundry. Got it done, but couldn’t collect it til the next day. Also, my husband ended up going somewhere and I spent the night alone in an outhouse–I do not know why. When I got up to get dressed, I had no underwear. I went to fetch my laundry, while people gave me odd looks and tried to use my changing room (ie outhouse). I chased them away, but they got snotty. (Did I mention there were three beer fountains in the outhouse at one point and all put out just foam?)

At this point I learned that my laundry was gone and I was going to have to go commando in jeans. Yay, me. Then I couldn’t get back into my hotel room (you know, the one I had but slept in an outhouse anyhow?) In fact, there was no record I’d ever had a room. I had to stand in multiple lines to find all this out, and when I finally got to the head of one, the woman got on the phone to get Who tickets and so couldn’t talk to anybody because her phone was across the room and she was going to be waiting for hours to get Who tix. So then I went to the main hotel desk and found the owner who immediately started to dig into it. By this time, my husband had returned from fixing the cars, which somehow were broken. He watched the kids while I sat there.

At this point, something weird happened. A guy I was standing near got a steak and was eating it in the lobby. Apparently I was getting a steak, too. Then we all morphed into a weird battle scene in which we were on a highland above a long slope of brambles leading down into water. Attackers were coming up from below somehow and we had to fight them off. (And yes, they did seem to want my laundry). So we’re fighting them off and I realize that they have these portable sorts of bridges they are using to cross the brambles. I get pissed and grab a couple of the guys and try to steal a bridge and then I start getting pounded and I’m pounding and then the guy who was eating the other steak shows up and then my husband and we win. We now have the bridges. And now we morph back to the hotel to find out that my laundry will never show up and I’m out of underwear luck.

We go home. Not to my home, but some home I’ve never been to, only to discover my father-in-law is there and the place is a mess. I retreat to my bedroom to get on underwear, only to find a woman sleeping in my bed and the place looks like a tornado hit. I wake her up. She’s apparently my father-in-law’s girlfriend and is chatty and apparently I have met her. I tell her to get out of my room. She won’t go! I keep screaming and yelling at her to leave my room and she won’t go. So I shove her out. And then she walks back in and the door handle pops off and I can’t lock her out. I ask my husband to make her go. She won’t. Then suddenly her brother is there and he’s the same way. They WON’T GO! As in, just into the next room. They ignore me.

I totally melt down. I’m screaming at them and I can’t even retreat to quiet down because they follow me and won’t leave. They are perfectly nice about it. Chatty and friendly, but they won’t go!

And then my husband woke me up because I slept until 11 a.m., which I never do. He tells me of course I did because I’m sick. Okay, so yeah, I might be. Anybody heard of this sort of sick? We got one of those forehead temperature takers because we needed to check my son’s temps this last week when he’s had a fever and our old thermometer wasn’t working. It gives an error message if you don’t measure above 93.9 and if you measure above 108. I’ve been giving off a lot of the low error messages. I range between about 94 to about 101 this last week. When I’m low, I feel hot and headachey and sick. I’ve been drinking lots of fluids. Typically my normal is about 97 something. Right now I’m about a degree higher than that. So I can’t decide if I’m sick or if my thyroid meds need adjusting. But I’ve been sleeping hard (with weird nightmares obviously) and late. This ends on Monday when the kids go back to school and that’s not allowed anymore.

so there you have it. anxiety dreams of getting smashed by all that has to be done and my brain translates that into sleeping in an outhouse with foamy beer fountains, not having any underwear, fighting bad guys, eating steak (it was very fatty steak, too), and guests that not only won’t leave, but they invade all the spaces and won’t leave me alone, chatting endlessly.

For the record, I am wearing underwear.


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